I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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