So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
