Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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