At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
