I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
