if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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