After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
