I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize