You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
