idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
