Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish life had little blips of pornography
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
