He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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