haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
