the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize