put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
