If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i will never coherently bang her
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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