my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
