Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
