I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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