I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize