Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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