Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She bit a glass in half.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
