Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
