I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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