Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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