Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Jerry, you need to find god
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
