Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
