wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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