when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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