well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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