so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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