Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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