My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
