Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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