who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
