seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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