I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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