Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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