so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
