He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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