I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
