I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?