I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.