Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.

  (713): View more from Texas

  I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Texas should really raise its teaching standards.

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  (713): Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party. (713): I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over. (832): Texas should really raise its teaching standards. http://tfl.nu/yy08
  Replies (24) Good night (3148) Bad night (629)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

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  (434): So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970 http://tfl.nu/x6yp
  Replies (13) Good night (602) Bad night (3044)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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  (812): You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party http://tfl.nu/gmt6
  Replies (10) Good night (5940) Bad night (1363)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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  (412): She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan" http://tfl.nu/9he5
  Replies (15) Good night (1134) Bad night (4407)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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  (479): Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know.. http://tfl.nu/03rh
  Replies (8) Good night (3948) Bad night (926)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.

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  (540): You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened. http://tfl.nu/x4ak
  Replies (2) Good night (2593) Bad night (827)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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  (504): If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life. http://tfl.nu/0spe
  Replies (9) Good night (2181) Bad night (1042)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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  (859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl
  Replies (4) Good night (1266) Bad night (504)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?

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  (845): I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it? http://tfl.nu/d94j
  Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (361)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?

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  (401): Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer? http://tfl.nu/x506
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (738)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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  (303): as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking. http://tfl.nu/8b6a
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (272)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (6) Good night (314) Bad night (730)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.

  (818): View more from California

  He could of at least asked

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  (571): He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude. (818): He could of at least asked http://tfl.nu/04jo
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (331)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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  (802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (336)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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  (843): Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling http://tfl.nu/p0kx
  Replies (6) Good night (350) Bad night (718)

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