Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.