Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex... http://tfl.nu/vx0w
  Replies (51) Good night (700) Bad night (5549)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (57) Good night (13757) Bad night (5222)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night? http://tfl.nu/n9fn
  Replies (35) Good night (1463) Bad night (6643)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (39) Good night (11751) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed. http://tfl.nu/ew4t
  Replies (17) Good night (863) Bad night (3960)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up? http://tfl.nu/smja
  Replies (6) Good night (1093) Bad night (2939)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one? http://tfl.nu/9wky
  Replies (13) Good night (1215) Bad night (1879)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit? http://tfl.nu/0117
  Replies (6) Good night (1160) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class http://tfl.nu/65qj
  Replies (7) Good night (2483) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic. http://tfl.nu/24xb
  Replies (1) Good night (1046) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die. http://tfl.nu/72xy
  Replies (9) Good night (493) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk http://tfl.nu/5as6
  Replies (1) Good night (1037) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me http://tfl.nu/eiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come. http://tfl.nu/a9r3
  Replies (0) Good night (655) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear http://tfl.nu/rhya
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (274)

Randomize