Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund

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  (415): Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund http://tfl.nu/nij6
  Replies (12) Good night (867) Bad night (2153)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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  (847): So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be http://tfl.nu/8bju
  Replies (209) Good night (20142) Bad night (1220)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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  (231): i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister. http://tfl.nu/u6ro
  Replies (20) Good night (1118) Bad night (4826)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.

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  (773): There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet. http://tfl.nu/w01w
  Replies (40) Good night (4565) Bad night (645)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem

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  (276): I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem http://tfl.nu/0t83
  Replies (6) Good night (3673) Bad night (1192)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.

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  (408): I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/oyks
  Replies (16) Good night (3426) Bad night (1340)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  how do you feel about lunch break shots ?

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  (204): how do you feel about lunch break shots ? http://tfl.nu/05qu
  Replies (8) Good night (3256) Bad night (1042)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.

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  (306): He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call. http://tfl.nu/bo9m
  Replies (2) Good night (1934) Bad night (775)
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  (607): View more from New York

  you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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  (607): you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship http://tfl.nu/e8ub
  Replies (5) Good night (2126) Bad night (821)
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  (619): View more from California

  Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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  (619): Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance. http://tfl.nu/l10e
  Replies (5) Good night (1451) Bad night (1301)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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  (501): And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409 http://tfl.nu/uewi
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (1304)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.

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  (419): Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate? (1-419): Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly. http://tfl.nu/ok5v
  Replies (20) Good night (3471) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.

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  (916): I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina. http://tfl.nu/c8ir
  Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel

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  (562): That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel http://tfl.nu/pj6n
  Replies (0) Good night (687) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

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  (513): he just exposed your dildo usage to the table. http://tfl.nu/zocu
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (320)

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