I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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