Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
