I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
