hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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