Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
