I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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