I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
