Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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