how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I believe in your delicious
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize