I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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