I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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