She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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