Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
