Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
