Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
