Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
