for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize