I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
