so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it was like eating out sand paper
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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