Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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