Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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