Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
