Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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